British archaeologists have taken the internet by storm after learning that a 2,000-year-old “sewing device” may be the only known life-size Roman dildo. They described the alleged phallic invention in Antiquity magazine. According to the Times of London, the Caligula-style “sex-cessory” was originally found in 1992 during excavations at Roman Fort Vindolanda in Northumberland. Imagine you have a wooden dildo. It would be crazy, wouldn’t it? Found with shoes and other clothing, archaeologists initially thought the six-inch-long cylindrical device was a darning tool, the process of mending holes in woven fabric with a needle and thread. However, modern scientists believe that this was a mistake.
“I have to admit, part of me takes for granted that it’s a penis,” said Dr. Rob Collins, an archaeologist at Newcastle University and co-author of the paper, reported the Guardian. “We know that the ancient Romans and Greeks used sexual devices. This object from Vindolanda could be an example of that.” After an additional check 30 years later, the scientists thought they might have been wrong. “Penis pouches” filled with milk tea are attracting netizens’ attention, but the cafe in Thailand is now stopping selling drinks in phallus-shaped pouches!
The tool was also smooth on both ends, suggesting the supposed double-headed dildo may have been in use for a while. Obviously, the phallic facial expressions may not have been intended for actual masturbation. According to Collins, the Romans may have used it as a symbolic pestle to pulverize ingredients for “culinary or medicinal purposes” and the “phallic form may have been chosen to imbue those with good luck”.
Tiny phallic representations were common in ancient Rome, appearing frequently in mosaics and frescoes, and on pendants worn as tantric totems. However, due to its construction, size, and disembodied nature, making it the first of its kind to be discovered in ancient Rome, scholars speculate that this look-alike may have been used for masturbation.
The study also suggested that the wooden willie may have been a separate component of a “herm,” a Roman statue consisting of a person’s bust and a pillar descending to enclose their genitals like an X-rated Pez- to reveal donors. Much like a superstitious baseball player stroking his lucky bat before a game, lustful Romans would rub it to increase their lust.
(The story above first appeared on LatestLY on February 21, 2023 8:33 AM IST. For more politics, world, sports, entertainment and lifestyle news and updates, visit our website Latestly.com).
