Please stop with all those boring new multiplayer shooters that are going to die in six months

In 2023, more major multiplayer games have been retired than ever before that I can remember. Little by little, the developers’ dreams of creating the next great Destiny-like began to unravel in on themselves. Like a deflated concertina, their last honks have been turned into desperate, hissing squeaks while the servers sit empty and the cost of keeping them skyrocketed control. While some are still holding out, the genre as a whole seems to be at a turning point – and I had to sigh when five more multiplayer shooters joined the fray as part of Sony’s PlayStation Showcase last night.

Not only were they great in numbers, but none of them felt – as much as CG trailers can feel – in any way new and exciting. One of them was even a soulless Splatoon rip-off, while another came up with exactly the same idea as Sega’s Hyenas several years too late. A third still looked like the souped-up love child of Watch_Dogs and the startlingly evil Rockay City.

But the more important question is this: who are these games trying to woo? I’d bet most multiplayer shooter lovers have time for one, maybe two of them in their lifetime, and most of the big hitters like Destiny have either already completely gobbled up their playerbase or burned it to the brim with their incessant grind . Hell, I don’t even get to try even half of them in my life these days to see if it’s worth sticking with – maybe because deep down I know they’re almost all within the top six Months will fail as so many of this year’s sacrifices have already done. There are just too many of these games out there these days. We reached saturation years ago and it’s time to say no more. I’m sorry, Concord, Foamstars, Marathon, Fairgame$ and, well, maybe Helldivers 2nd RPS alone.

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PVP shooter Concord’s flight was way too short

Concord’s reveal trailer doesn’t give away that it’s a PVP multiplayer shooter game. I was ready to love this sci-fi whatever with its weird space burgers, detailed ship interiors, and enigmatic blinking lights. But oh no. The PlayStation Blog post on this revealed the sad truth. It tells us that it’s “a merging of races,” that every login is “a new adventure,” and every game is “an opportunity for a new story.” But what does that really tell us? Nothing. I’m willing to put the funeral of this movie on hold until we see actual footage, but face it, are you really going to let Destiny down for whatever this is?

Here lies Helldivers 2, the co-op shooter that’s gone too far

All right, I know Helldivers The 1st is really good. This game could get a pass, if only because it’s co-op, thank goodness, and not competitive. I can support a good co-op shooter. Hell, it’s often how I enjoy them these days (big plus: Gears 4 and Gears 5). But Helldivers 2 certainly didn’t help itself by spawning four caped Super Soldiers who looked like they just came off the set of The Mandalorian. I’m sticking with the execution for now… but I’ve got my eye on you, Helldivers 2. My beady eye.

Extraction shooter Marathon ran before he could walk

Do not get me wrong. Marathon’s reveal trailer looks damn good. I love the dripping color spirals. I love the cold white plastic faces of its crash test dummy robot figures, or runners if you want the official term. And Bungie makes great shooters. There’s no denying that. But Marathon is a pure PVP game, with no single-player campaign or anything, suggesting that its push for “player-driven storytelling” won’t always 100% end with me getting a half-map headshot every 30 seconds , before I take a single step into its persistent, evolving maps. And heck if that ends up entailing as many convoluted and convoluted season passes and story expansions as Destiny 2 did… I mean, God bless us all.

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Life clearly wasn’t fair to the competitive heist game Fairgame$

Sega’s Hyenas isn’t even out yet, but Jade Raymond’s Studio Haven’s Fairgame$ seems to be aiming for the exact same template, albeit without any loot boxes full of Sonic plushies and gold-dipped Dreamcast tattoos. It’s a competitive PvP robbery game where you and lots of your friends steal from the mega rich and… give yourself? Listen, I know the exact storyline surrounding Robin Hood is a little questionable, but when I’m playing as a bunch of souped-up prey monkeys (literally, see right), I just want to stand on my desk.

Admittedly, the concept isn’t all that bad. IOI’s hitman World Of Assassination Trilogy does a great job of bringing mega-rich rooms to life, and Fairgame$ also promises “emergent sandbox gameplay.” But the tone of an extraction shooter is so hard to hit, and none of the CGI reveal trailers suggest Fairgame$ knows what it wants to be. A wannabe Watch_Dogs? hitman? God, could it be worse than Crime Boss: Rockay City? I mean there’s a $ for an S. I think that tells you all you need to know.

Finally, we empower Splatoon to bring the deepest whirl imaginable to 4v4 party shooter Foamstars

Sssh, listen, I know Foamstars isn’t confirmed for PC right now, but come on Squeenix. Respect the ink. That couldn’t denigrate Splatoon’s homework harder if he tried, and his blatant attempt to get noticed by ripping off Prey’s glue gun won’t stand. I won’t let it. To pull the plug. This is for the drain.