We’re in the middle of the spring semester here, and if you’re anything like me, you’ve changed majors (twice), got into a deep depressive episode, and thought about fleeing to Canada and giving yourself a new legal name . I heard Toronto is beautiful in the spring.
To be honest, this article wasn’t at the top of my to-do list. When my editors hired me in December, they said I was writing for something called The Culture Issue. You can imagine my surprise after learning that many more troubles will come after this one. Regardless of what this “automation problem” is, my final draft is due by dawn, and I’m left with little more than a disjointed grab bag of punch lines.
I have little time. The convenience store near me has been cleaned of all Red Bulls and Monsters. I guess I’ll have to settle for a Birthday Cake Bash Bang Energy. I have two Cs with five assignments in each grade book, and I’ve eaten nothing but a turkey sandwich every day for the past week. I’m too close to my deadline for consolation, so I’m giving up my principles not just as a writer but as an artist — I use artificial intelligence to do my work for me.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock in the last five months, you’ve heard about the AI breakthrough ChatGPT. An auto-generated system released into the hands of the common man, ChatGPT can turn any half-baked thought into a manuscript – or a discussion post due within an hour. Getting someone to do your homework used to require beating up a nerd or something. Now anyone can have a robot do the work they’ve been putting off with the push of a button.
And that’s exactly what I’m going to do. With a little more flair, of course.
It’s the end of reality as we know it. The clunky, sweaty nightmare of virtual reality is blurring the lines between what’s real and what’s not… according to ChatGPT
Editor’s Note: Bold text was generated by ChatGPT, plain text was written by the satirist.
Virtual Reality is a technology that allows users to “immerse” in a computer-generated “environment”. Legally, “immerse” must be in quotes. “Environment” too. The technical definition for VR technology is “computer binoculars”. By strapping an ophthalmoscope to your thick skull, anyone can experience the claustrophobic comeback of the glamorized 3D glasses that are VR headsets.
It can be used for entertainment, education and training, among others. “Other things” is a very nice way of saying porn. Too nice. This paragraph really understates the pornographic use of the headsets. Seriously, now go to any VR games website and search for “girl sim”. There will be literally thousands. Don’t actually do that.
One of the main characteristics of VR is its ability to create highly realistic simulations of real-world environments and experiences. Unfortunately, it can’t offer that yet. If anyone finds a way to do this, please email [email protected].
As VR technology advances, it becomes increasingly difficult to differentiate between reality and untruth. Some people believe that VR has the potential to change the way we think about and interact with the world, while others (common people) worry that they have invested far too much money in technology that is only will work in the year 3000.
There is a wide variety of VR games ranging from fantasy games such as ethical capitalism to more realistic simulators such as B. Paying your landlord or choosing between insulin and cable.
VR technology has also opened up new possibilities for traditional gaming genres, such as: B. First person shooters that actually kill people, puzzles where the solution is to kill people, and sports games where people die. VR gaming has experienced rapid growth in recent years, driven by “advancements” in VR technology and increased consumer interest. This consumer interest is entirely organic and in no way a product of industry-created hype about an unconvincing piece of technology.
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Well folks, we’ve come to a crossroads. As a writer, I acknowledge the threat ChatGPT poses to my existence. Still, I used the technology for its intended purpose as a means to an end. And I hate to admit it, but it has helped me.
I’m neurodivergent and sometimes I have trouble expressing my ideas clearly. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a perfectly capable writer, but my brain doesn’t always organize ideas quickly and coherently. I found it much easier to let my mind wander when I had a sample essay to work with. I was able to easily formulate my ideas into a few simple paragraphs, and I have to admit it saved me time and stress.
My point is that AI is threatening the livelihoods of creatives in every field. Or maybe my point is that AI has real utility and can effectively help anyone write. Maybe it’s both.
In the coming years, we will have to start asking ourselves difficult questions about how we integrate technology into our reality – and whether we even want to. Dear readers, if you take away anything from this article, let it be this: I will always be funnier than a robot.
Edited by Sam Ellefson, Camila Pedrosa, Alexis Moulton and Greta Forslund.
This story is part of The Automation Issue published on March 15, 2023. The entire publication can be found here.
Reach the columnist at [email protected] and follow @notevilclaire on Twitter.
Editor’s Note: The opinions presented in this column are those of the author and do not imply an endorsement by State Press Magazine or its editors.
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