I know Yen, I also call BS. Image: CDPR/Kotaku
Honey, hurry up, they’re gonna nerf The Witcher 3 vaginas. (NSFW warning.)
Kotaku published a story yesterday noting that The Witcher 3’s next-gen update added realistic vaginas, noting that these kittens were one of the many fan-made mods that CDPR is adding to the updated game has. In the original Witcher 3, women shown in full frontal nudity had no visible genitals, just a sort of smoothed-out Barbie doll area. In the next-gen update released for free last December, it appears that Crookback Bog’s Crones and Bruxas (the only female NPCs that regularly go full-frontal with no obscuring shots or panties) have a pubic bone in the landing strip- Style have hair and visible labia.
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When contacted for comment, CDPR initially told Kotaku that the company was “thinking about it and will have more information in the coming days,” but now it appears the vaginas were accidentally added. At least that’s what they tell us in a statement we received via email:
“The next-gen version of The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt includes several community sourced mods not created by CD PROJEKT RED, in addition to numerous improvements created and implemented internally by the studio. Putting everything together was a complex process and the textures in question are an unintended result present in the release version. That’s something we’re working on.”
I’ve asked if this means the vaginas will be completely removed from the game, but I haven’t received an answer as of the time of publication. However, if that’s the case (and it certainly seems so), it means that the Cronussies may be toned down in a future Witcher 3 update.
If you too can’t believe that a game like The Witcher 3 (which has a lot of female nudity and absolutely no cocks) would accidentally add realistic vaginas in an update, then join the club. The vagina mod in question was hugely popular, and CDPR certainly hasn’t shied away from showing off people’s parts in the past (hi, Cyberpunk 2077). But maybe admitting that they went ahead and folded a labia mod is a bit too much, I get it.
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While runway pubic hair and perfectly manicured labia isn’t the best representation of vaginas we could get, it’s better than a smoothed, sealed area downstairs – and I’d be even less bothered if the game featured a juicy guy nudity too. The Witcher 3 is loved for its awesomeness, so I say let’s embrace it for everyone.
Update 2/10/2023 12:22 PM ET: CDPR has confirmed via email to Kotaku that the visible labia/pubic hair will be removed “since these textures were not intended to be present in the release version of the game”.